Welcome. This is me…
Intelligent. Reliable. (from the) Heart. A little stubborn. Grounded in Flux.
This is what I want you to know.
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My superpowers are my ability to see the human in everyone and to sense what’s felt and put it into words. Even if life is stressful, uncertain or difficult, we can practice returning to calm. In our sessions, I’ll support you to feel and move through your emotions and untangle painful thoughts. I’ll encourage you to keep on going after the things you dream of, even if it takes many years.
Maybe you think you need to keep things bottled up inside. Or maybe you feel as if your emotions are too much. Guess what: they're not, and you're very human. Together we'll unravel your thoughts and feelings. Once you do, you'll feel more connected than ever before.
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Being human is difficult at times. I know - I've felt grief, experienced relationship struggles, gone through career set-backs and felt the rug pulled out from under me. There are times when everything seems to work against us. Our dreams can seem insurmountable. Or where we feel lost, not sure what to do next (while it seems everyone else has it figured out).
When this happens, do not fear this moment. Even if things don’t go the way you thought they would - you can be OK. Slow down and be gentle with yourself. Even if at times, it’s painful and does not go the way you hoped - life is beautiful and will surprise you again. You're right on time, and you have no idea how this moment is a building block for the aliveness still to come.
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Most of us grow up learning to adapt to the environments around us. Part of growing up emotionally means going back to our past and learning to mindfully re-embrace the parts that make us feel alive.
Stepping out of habitual ways of responding to life may feel scary at first, as we let go of old habits and dare to practice new ways of being. For change to be sustainable, we need to take micro-steps, feeling settled in each stage before we can progress to the next. For change to be deep and safe, we also need to be kind & caring towards ourselves every time we slip up or have a rough time, making it easier to return to our present experience with compassion. This is a life-long practice.
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Hollywood may tend to portray romantic relationships as a static marker of success to arrive at, but the truth is a little more complicated.
After the initial surge of romance, love relationships are where we learn more about ourselves by noticing what we and our partner needs and how you each tend to respond when stressed. Once love has set in, attachment bonds make it both harder to leave, and make us feel more vulnerable around our partner. This is where we can start to become more skilled at love: by expressing our needs constructively, listening to understand, being curious about the history of our own and their behaviours, committing to quality time & new, fun experiences together, de-escalating conflict & respecting boundaries. We will all continue to screw up & have the chance to get better at these skills.
Unlike Hollywood movies, love isn’t about staying together at all costs. Instead, it’s about outgrowing past coping skills, working on yourself and forming a deeply vulnerable, inquisitive bond with another person and yourself as respectfully and safely as possible. And sometimes, doing all of this can still lead to a relationship ending - and that being a healing outcome.
This is what working with me looks like.
I work with you individually or together with your partner. What you can expect from me is warmth and compassionate interest at all times, and concrete exercises or frameworks to help you understand (sides of) yourself(ves), sometimes. I'll help you explore who you'd like to become next (because our lives don't always follow a straight line!) I'll also help you gently untangle scary thoughts or sensations that keep you locked up inside. And finally, I’ll help mediate safely, without judgement, and practically between you and your partner. My presence & impact on you tends to be calming, curious & constructive. In therapy-speak: my style is humanistic, as gentle and affirming as possible, as directive or practical as requested, informed by neuroscience, mindfulness, shadow work, attachment theory and more.
When we work together individually or with your partner, I will NOT force you to commit to a minimum number of sessions or a regular time slot. Seeing a therapist or counsellor shouldn’t feel like signing a contract. Life (and our mood) changes. You can book a session with me whenever you want to.
I'm also not going to diagnose you or push you into a treatment plan. Instead, I’ll meet you as a guide and compassionate friend. Just one with a few more skills.
These things inform how I show up for you.
I've been doing this work since 2013. Here are some of the skills I’ve learned since then:
I have an ongoing on - off mindfulness and meditation practice & attended a 10-day silent meditation retreat.
I graduated with an MSc. in Psychology & Neuroscience of Mental Health from King's College London.
I’ve been trained in Imago Relationship Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Voice Dialogue.
I’ve lived abroad (outside the Netherlands) for large parts of my life, speak a few languages and have family across the world, giving me a cosmopolitan / culturally sensitive outlook.
I am equally rational/scientific as emotional/intuitive - and let both guide me in life and our sessions.
I’ve been in therapy myself over the years, and will continue to use this whenever I need it. Due to this, I’m intimately familiar with the vulnerability & courage it takes to open up.
I have personal experience with the struggles of being an expat, unemployment, experiencing grief, anxiety, miscarriage and going through a loving divorce - as well as processing these safely & experiencing joy, meaning and acceptance again.
My rates
1-on-1 counselling
Online or in-person, an individual session for you to open up, reflect & get a (trained) 3rd party's perspective. You can book a session whenever you need it. Sliding scale reduced fees are available for people with lower income.
60 mins | € 110 | Recommended for an introductory session
30 mins | € 55 | Recommended as a follow-up session only
Couples counselling
Online or in-person, a safe space for you and your partner to talk about tricky things, with a compassionate mediator to guide conversation. You & your partner can book a session whenever you need it. Sliding scale reduced fees are available for people with lower income.
90 mins | € 165 | Recommended for an introductory session
60 mins | € 110 | Recommended for follow-up sessions
Book a session
Visit my online calendar to find a time that works for you.